What do you value the most?
What is your biggest insecurity?
How will you secure your future?
Who are the people that really matter to you and why?
How much of your actions rely on dignity, pride, or
reputation?
Are you a significant or an insignificant person?
How FAKE are you?
Questions filled my head and then, I fell…
There was no pain. It
was a dream-like state of numbness. For
the past couple of years, I struggled to find my answers. After a while, my light dimmed to a black
canvas as I lived and died in a perpetual cycle of repetitious actions and
false happiness.
In a journal, the following was written:
~Off the coast
of mainland Japan lays the island of Okinawa, It is known to many as the “Treasure”
of Japan and known to me as my birthplace.
It is home to friendly natives, unexplored sub-islands, deadly
creatures, undisturbed wildlife, and gorgeous scenery…
Here, the rewards
are only as great as the sacrifice. –
Illegible~
Noise? No not noise
but music.
I awoke to a soft sweet ambient melody somewhat reminiscent
of a lullaby. For this one moment, there
was nobody around. It was only me, staring straight up into the
clear night sky. Little by little light
started to flicker back into my life filling my black canvas full of
stars. I was able to understand. It was a beautiful life too big to
grasp. It was a masterpiece. This was my first experience on the
mysterious island of Okinawa.
~Foreigners come and
go, always with a smile on their face.
One can’t help but smile back to them in respect. They are all wonderful people but nothing
sets them apart from each other. They
are all the same. They search for that temporary
relief. I feel sorry for them. It’s
hard to communicate with them but I try, if only to make their stay here that
much easier on them.
You’re not stupid if
you make a mistake, you’re stupid when you make that same mistake a second
time. – Illegible~
The following days were filled with endless activities: Kayaking, jet skiing, diving, and exploring uninhabited
islands on your own. There is something about being alone and within miles from
the nearest person that just resets your mind.
I dove back into the zone of a child’s curiosity and amazement. Once again, everything around me sparked my
interest. I started making up my own
explanations for the unknown. I was
reliant on my imagination once again.
Life was simple.
~I watched as these
people succumb to fears I cannot understand.
It must be the fear of the unknown because they purposely avoid the
greatest gift this place has to offer.
Instead, the popular attractions are shopping, clubs and resorts, which
can be found anywhere else in the world.
I guess it’s sometimes
better to hear of a fire and avoid it ahead of time than to see it for one’s self
but in doing so, one will never be able to understand it, thus putting an end
to it – Illegible~
I watched as the natives carelessly navigated around the
deadly creatures of this land. These
people were bold and fearless. They hold
none of the chains that bind us back home such as the chains of reputation and
the fear of the unknown that we gain as we get older. Reputation and status holds no meaning here
for me. I was free. The people here bow their heads in
respect. The girls shy away from eye
contact. There are no overconfident
tones when speaking. Here, there is no
such thing as pride, conceit, and fake people.
It was through these people that I learned of humility as a virtuous
trait.
~At work, I chanced
upon an intriguing individual who had learned a tiny bit of my language. As he paid for the merchandise, he spoke, “anata
wa kawaii,” meaning, “you’re cute” and then smiled. I’m
not sure if it was out of surprise, if it was funny or because my coworkers
heard it, but I could not suppress my urge to smile and found it hard to keep
eye contact. I’m sure I’m thinking too
much into this and that person has already forgotten about this incident but
for me, it made my day.
There is no such thing
as complexity; complexity is made up of a bunch of simplicity – Illegible~
About two days ago, I had a brief encounter with a local
girl. I believe I purchased something
from her and told her she was cute. I
may have been out of line but it was the only phrase I learned in their native
tongue and I believed she was worthy enough to say it to. She had a very unexpected but cute reaction
to my compliment. Since then, this person
who has no logical significance in my life has been stuck in my mind. Because of circumstances, I see no future
between us so I don’t think I’ll bother to visit her again. All that remains is this nagging feeling as
if I’ve missed something important. I
should forget it within the next two weeks.
~That incident two
weeks ago at work, with the foreign traveler inspired me to go out and see the
world. He had a look of serenity about
him that I hope to understand myself. I
realize now that there is a world outside of my own and I wish to experience
that and find my own peace. Presently, I
find myself on a plane taking my first step towards an exciting adventure. It is kind of overwhelming and scary if you
think about it but I would not have gotten to this point if I just kept
thinking.
Those who are able to
realize and value what they’ve already got, are the lucky ones – Illegible~
The two remaining weeks since my last entry went by in a
blur. I’m going to miss the glistening
blue waters of the ocean accented by the white sands of the beach, the
underwater caverns filled with an assorted rainbow of fishes, the thick jungle
canopy which houses some of the most amazing wildlife in the world, and finally
I’m going to miss the great green mountains hidden by the morning mist. True beauty isn’t in make-up or in within the
clothes you wear. It’s not in the person
or the personality; it’s in nature and in life.
The majority of people in this day and age have their values messed
up. I learned that the questions I used to worry about, don't really matter. Everyone needs to just reset and
relax.
THE END
~It was hard to
understand at first but we eventually found a common ground in which we can
start communicating. He told me his
stories of his visit to my land. I was
wrong about assuming he was there for that temporary relief. He actually found a permanent happiness in
his soul searching journey. I’m writing
this as he unknowingly fell asleep on my shoulder. He looks comfortable so I shall not wake
him. As for me, I hope my visit to the
U.S. is filled with wonderful experiences
Balance, it’s the
secret to the world – Illegible~
Who would have thought that my trip back would be a fun
filled flight of Pictionary? It was our original
means of communicating until we were comfortable enough to speak and use hand
gestures. I enjoyed talking with her and
she listened attentively to what I said.
I learned about her humble life and we played lots of games. She fell asleep on my shoulder without
knowing it. The relationship between her
and I was limited and simple. There was no such thing as disagreements or
drama because of the barrier of language.
It’s weird that this is what helped us get along better. Before long, our plane landed and she was
off. I never bothered to ask for her
name or contact information. All I had
left of her was her memory, and a journal she forgot. | 
